i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
