i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
