So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
