And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
