Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
should my penis look like a turkey
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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