does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
