sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize