fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
