i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
