spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
