so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
