I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize