Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
