I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
