singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
