I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
