I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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