Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
