Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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