AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
