Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
