My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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