I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
