what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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