ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
