My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
