Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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