this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize