We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
