8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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