I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
