woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
