Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
