he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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