Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
this hospital has no fireball
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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