yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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