Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
