My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
