I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
we're so committed to being not committed
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
