The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
