we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
