weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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