when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
