They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
