I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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