Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
