Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
