Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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