i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
