So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
