Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
