Im at strip club and am horny
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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