are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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