yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
