Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
