I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
