Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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