My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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