She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
