You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize