Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
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