i think my mom watched the whole time
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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