We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
In America we eat man semen.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
