he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize