bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
