He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
