we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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