she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
the day after is always just damage control
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
