Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
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