I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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