he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
