even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
